Am I Dating Whom?

"Are you dating Mike?" Asked a woman I didn't know at Friday night's "Farewell to the Troops" party at the bar in Signature Lanes.

I stared at her blankly. Fortunately, she assumed I didn't hear her and by the time she asked me again, I knew who she was talking about.

See, at Army Parties, I'm not dating Mike. I'm dating McClure or Big Mac. I run around responding to, "McClure's old lady," or "Big Mac's woman" or "McClure's girlfriend." I introduce myself as "McClure's girlfriend." If I say "Mike" no one, with perhaps the exception of Adam, Tom and Jeff; will know who I'm talking about.

Needless to say, when the woman, Jennifer, asked if I was dating Mike, I really didn't know who she was talking about. And it turns out Jennifer is dating "the other Mike." But it turns out there are actually two other Mikes, so when I was trying to tell Mike about Jennifer and Mike on the drive to paintball the next day, he didn't know who I was talking about.

And it's not just me. Laura and I had a conversation about it while paintballing. See, she always refers to herself as "McClure's sister," so when Jennifer asked if she was Mike's sister, she just stared at her. And let me tell you, Laura's had a lot more experience being "Mike's sister" than I've had being "Mike's girlfriend."