Cell Phone Dead

Yesterday, I decided it would be a good idea to go swimming since I'd spent the last two hours typing away at my computer. I stepped out of the bathroom and my cell phone dropped, sending the back flying and ejecting the battery in the opposite direction. When I put it all back together, it wouldn't turn on. And if it did turn on, the screen was broken, so it doesn't count. Ahh, drama.

I loved the conference yesterday, though. I've met tons of people (and will probably continue to meet more) and have had some very interesting conversations.

I have a conference scheduled with an agent later. I'm so nervous I'm afraid I'm going to pee my pants. And in the meantime, I'm sipping a skinny caramel latte. This made me realize something: I don't like skinny lattes. If I'm going to be fat (which, it seems is inevitable), I'm going to eat the good lattes. Not the ones that taste bad... even if they are only 100 calories. Should have stuck with the hotel breakfast (but I had to go to Kinko's to print something off and it would have been over by the time I returned). Maybe I need to be more organized.

Getting What We Want: Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

You know how sometimes when you get the thing you want or were looking forward to, all of a sudden you don't know what to do with yourself? I've been having that recurring feeling all week.

For instance, I finally got to Muncie for the writers conference I've been looking forward to for months, but the moment I checked into the hotel, I realized something: it has been too long since I've lived alone. I don't know what to do with myself. I didn't have internet access at first and it drove me crazy.

I just got a new freelancing job that I am soooooooo excited about. The moment my editor told me that he wanted the articles ASAP, I totally blanked, not sure what to write about. I mean, I knew what to write about, I just didn't know how to do it. That's never happened. My mind was a blank slate. Finally, after three tries, I finished the first of the articles. I don't love it. I'm not even sure I like it. I'll have to edit it tomorrow after the conference.

I'm sure tomorrow I'll be so excited about the conference I'll have plenty to do. Besides, the schedules packed. And I'm sure that next month, I'll have plenty to write about - a whole month's worth of research instead of three days of research. Time makes a difference.

Still, it makes me wonder how I can want something so much and be so completely surprised at getting it that my functionality drops below zero.

Broken Toilet

Somehow, our toilet seat broke. So I bought a new one. I hate putting things together. I'm bad at it. So I'm neglecting it. I just have a feeling, though not as complicated as the lawn mower, it's still going to suck.

I'd include a picture except you seriously don't want to see it. It keeps pinching. But seriously, what if I put it on wrong? Do you know how much that would stink? It might fall off. I do have a habit of things not working out quite the way I want them to.

I don't think I'm thinking straight. The last weeks have been a series of early mornings, late nights and a lack of sleep. And I have several articles to write.

Hmm. Maybe I can convince the boy to do it for me????

Early Morning Disaster Control

I woke up at five this morning because the puppy was barking at my door. Turns out, we didn't lock her in the bathroom or the basement last night. She snuggled with me for about fifteen minutes before I began to feel that, perhaps, I should stop ignoring my alarm clock and go to the boys' house to take him to work.

Good thing I did, too. Mike was still asleep. However, we discussed the other day (when I thought he was asleep and the door was locked) that the door would be unlocked so I could get in.

Half an hour later, he was finishing breakfast (whenever he says "We're leaving the house at 6:30," he means, "We're leaving the house at 6:45") when I saw a red car pull up. "Is Adam giving you a ride?"

"What?"

"I think that might be Adam's car."

He looked out the window, "That is Adam's car. What do you think he's doing here?"

"Giving you a ride."

He stood to go out and talk to Adam who was looking askance at my car (and seriously, who can blame him?). "What are you doing here, Man?"

"Do you need a ride?"

"No, my woman's giving me one." Great. His woman. I poked my head out and glared at the two of them.

"Did you ever think your woman might not want to drive this morning?"

I laughed and poked my head around, "Thanks for coming by, Adam."

"I just didn't want to get to South Bend and have him call me up and ask for a ride." We both finished in our heads, "Because he would."

Evidently, Mike heard it, because he said, "Hey! I would not!"

"So, who's driving?" Asked Adam. The two of us exchanged glances and laughed. "Next time, CALL me so I know," said Adam to Mike, getting in his car. "By the way, you driving him tomorrow?"

"Yeah, need a ride?"

"I'll think about it."

Mike and I went back inside, talked for a bit and still made it before Adam. All because Adam took the way that's closer from his house, subsequently adding 20 minutes to his trip. Haha.
Army guys. They're all about efficiency, and still...

Prince Charming?

It seems that when one friend starts having boy-problems, they all start having boy problems. Yesterday, while I was informing my boyfriend that he's a jerk sometimes, I had a flash back to my freshman year of college.

The roommate, Melissa, and I had recently received one of those sappy emails that people send out all the time for whatever unknown purpose. In it, there was the line about how the right boy will never make you cry. We crossed that line out because neither of us believe it. "If he doesn't make you cry," we wonder, "Do you really love him?"

Today, while going through my papers looking for something else, I stumbled across a quote from a (different) former roommate, "Write something about searching for the world's Prince Charming, but he doesn't exist. And when you find one pretty close, he's an alcoholic."

Neither of us knew then that she was pretty much telling her story.

Makes me wonder: what happens to us as we grow up? Do we just give up? Do we think that we should take the first person that comes along? What happens to dreams of Prince Charming? How do we get those back?

Last night, the current roommate and I were discussing how, essentially, you get what you look for. It's heart-breaking when your truth stares you in the face.

Creativity Down the Drain

Since I have no new work today, I've spent the morning "sharpening my mind." In Sunday's paper, Goshen has a whole bunch of word puzzles/games and I love those things. And, after way longer than I would like to admit, I finally solved the first one... a thingy on writing. The quote saddens me. Mostly because it's true:

"Russia, France Germany and China. They revere their writers. America is still a frontier country that almost shudders at the idea of creative expression." - Novelist James. A Michener (who, by the way, recently passed away)

At the writing boards I visit, we frequently discuss how people look at us when we introduce ourselves as a "freelance writer." Not to mention the stupid questions they ask or the way they assume that we aren't doing anything because we "work from home." Thank goodness I live with Melody. She's one of my only friends who understands that I do, indeed, have a job.

Now, I'm off to query magazines and apply for new jobs. Hurray!

Guns No Longer Banned... In Chicago

In my newspaper (the Goshen News) yesterday, they included an article, "Gun Ruling Really a Tax," based on the ruling that was recently made in Chicago, allowing anyone to own a handgun (with the proper registration, of course).

Unfortunately, despite searching, I can't find the article to link back to it, but basically, whichever reporter wrote the article felt, of course, that this is a bad thing. See, now it's no longer illegal for law-abiding citizens to have guns.

He mentions most of my arguments in a cynical tone. And the way he writes it, he sounds right. Then, he goes on to say that this ruling will increase suicides, people killing their spouses, etc.

Here's the thing: Yes, access to guns probably will increase gun crimes. (Duh.) However, if someone is going to go off and kill their spouse, or kill someone in a crime of passion or commit suicide, it doesn't change the fact, that, gun or no gun, they will find a way to do it.

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that I'd feel safer walking around with a gun. Consider it like this: guns are fairly commonplace in the criminal realms of any major city. As a law-abiding citizen, that makes me a target for people who would rob me, kill me or rape me. Frankly, I'd rather not have any of those things happen to me. Or anyone else. I think access to guns - for the law-abiding citizens - though not enough, is one step in the right direction. It's one step towards change.

Personally, I'm for this type of change. Not change in the "Pro-Obama Mantra" but change in matters where it matters. Change in things that can be changed - and should be. Politicians can promise change all they want, but all they have is hot air. That won't change. What will change is people: people who stand up for themselves, people who pursue change, and who strive to change the things they think should be.