Saturday, June 30, 2007

Men and talking to the Roomie

I somehow managed to get online at just the right time to talk to one of my roommates from Paris, Euridice, today. I miss her. She's the kind of friend who, even after eight months of not talking, you can pick it up right away. She nearly died two weeks ago, so I'm glad we're able to talk at all (driving and ran into the rails of a railroad... car has 2500 Euros of damage), and she's terrified about driving at all, so she's moving closer to where she works. Bye bye living with mom and dad.

I feel bad, she and her boy broke up seven months ago. I had no idea, so I asked about him, of course. She said she broke up with him, and then once she'd calmed down, tried to talk about it, but he said it was better this way.

This led to our discussion about men. Why is it, exactly, that so many of them don't pursue, won't pursue? She was telling me that the "macho latino" stereotype couldn't be further from the truth... unless he already knows you. Beyond that, it's a matter of trying to catch his eye, just to indicate that you could be interested.

I laughed aloud, because she followed that up with, "I wish I lived in the States, where people go on dates. It's awesome. Men here are afraid, they don't approach you, ever."

And yes, people do go on dates, but it's still hard. It's still hard to get that person's attention, and try to say, "Hey! I'm interested! I'm available!" At least it's hard to do that without making a ninny of oneself.

Women have been trying to gain "equal" footing with men for years. The problem is that now that women have power in the workplace, at the gym, on the road, in politics, men seem threatened by that. I could be wrong, that's just how I see it... men are afraid to approach women, they're afraid to put their foot through the door.

Euridice opened up a whole new part to it too: pornography.

Porn was, at one time, though readily available, still hard to actually get one's hands on. Now, it's everywhere, especially in Europe, where it is, to quote her, "Just around the remote." Granted, in the States there are porn channels, but it's expensive. However, on the internet, it's free. So, women, though we have power, have become dispensible objects... unless one is seeking an actual relationship. And then people don't make a move anyway, because what if it doesn't work?


Jonathan Erdman said...

I sympathize.

Today everything is a commodity. Everything is consumable.

glassblowerscat said...

To turn it around (just for fun) to the male perspective, women have now become more intimidating not just because of their newfound power, but because they now have incredibly higher standards for who they will even go on one casual date with.

Women (or maybe "people") just are not open enough to say yes to a first date, in many cases. So why ask unless some display of interest on her part has already hinted at the probability of success?

Robin Marie said...

Jonathon Erdman: Everything is consumable today - and the faster we can get it, the happier we are.

Glassblowers Cat: It's interesting to hear it from the male perspective, because, for obvious reasons, I don't see it that way. And that is a good point - why ask unless there's a possibility of it happening?